EMDR for ADHD Adults

Affirming, online EMDR therapy — shaped around how your attention actually works

Stress

Depression

Meltdowns

AuDHD

Motivation

Anger

Anxiety

ADHD

Bullying

Restlessness

Low confidence or self-esteem

Abandonment

ADD

Impulsivity

Rejection Sensitivity

This is how therapy can help you

A short welcome from Pete Tobias, EMDR Europe Accredited Practitioner. Press play to hear a little about how I work, who I support across the UK and internationally, and what reaching out might look like for you.

Duration: 1 min 25 secs

0:00

"Hello, and welcome. I'm Pete Tobias.

If you've found your way here, you're probably carrying something that's been weighing on you for a while — and I want you to know you're in the right place.

I'm an EMDR Europe Accredited Practitioner, and I work with people across the UK and internationally. EMDR is an evidence-based therapy for trauma and difficult life experiences, and for many people, working online is just as effective as meeting in person — with the added comfort of being somewhere familiar and safe.

I also offer counselling and EMDR for neurodivergent adults. I believe therapy should fit you — your way of processing, communicating, and making sense of the world — rather than asking you to fit it. We'd work together, collaboratively and flexibly, to find an approach that genuinely suits you.

Whatever's brought you here, you don't have to navigate it on your own. When you feel ready, get in touch, and we can take that first step together."

Welcome

A Safe Space to be your full self

I'm an EMDR Europe-accredited practitioner and BACP-accredited counsellor, working online with adults across the UK and internationally. I'm also neurodivergent myself.

I discovered this late, as an adult, during my own therapy training. It was life-changing. It was scary, too — it challenged who I thought I was and my sense of self. But it was also full of hope, because I finally found answers to why I'd always felt different, like I didn't quite fit in.

That experience is why I do this work. I understand a lot of it from the inside, not just from clinical training.

Man carrying large blue sack on his head

What you might be carrying

Many ADHD adults first contact me because they feel burnt out, overwhelmed or exhausted.

Some have recently discovered they're ADHD. Others have a diagnosis they've been trying to make sense of for years. Some are waiting for an assessment but have long suspected they experience the world differently.

On the surface, they may describe anxiety, emotional overwhelm, relationship difficulties, low confidence or simply feeling that life seems harder than it should.

As we begin exploring their story together, we often discover that today's struggles are only part of the picture.

Many ADHD adults carry painful experiences from childhood, school, relationships or family life. Bullying, repeated criticism, feeling misunderstood, being told they weren't trying hard enough, academic struggles despite genuine effort, or simply growing up believing they were different can all leave lasting emotional wounds.

Over time, these experiences don't just affect how you feel about the past.

They can begin shaping how you feel about yourself.

Many ADHD adults spend years believing there is something fundamentally wrong with them. In my experience, that belief often deserves just as much attention as the experiences that created it.

ADHD Doesn't Need Fixing

One of the most important things I want you to know is this.

I don't see ADHD as something that needs fixing.

I don't help ADHD adults become someone different.

I help them let go of the pain that has taught them they needed to be.

In my experience, much of the suffering ADHD adults bring to therapy doesn't come from their neurology itself. It comes from years of trying to bend and contort themselves into environments, relationships and expectations that were never designed for an ADHD brain.

If you've spent years feeling different, it's understandable that you might begin believing you're broken.

I don't believe you are.

That doesn't mean ADHD isn't challenging. It can be. Difficulties with attention, organisation, emotional regulation or executive functioning are real, and therapy doesn't make those disappear overnight.

What can change is the relationship you have with yourself because of everything you've experienced.

You may still have an ADHD brain.

But you no longer have to see yourself through the lens of years of criticism, misunderstanding, rejection or shame.

How EMDR for ADHD Adults is Different

EMDR doesn't treat ADHD, nor would I want it to. ADHD is part of who you are, and I don't see that as something that needs changing. Instead, EMDR helps process experiences that continue to carry emotional pain in the present.

Many ADHD adults have spent years feeling misunderstood, criticised, rejected or as though they were somehow "not enough". Those experiences can continue shaping how you feel about yourself long after they've happened. EMDR helps the brain reprocess those experiences so they no longer carry the same emotional charge. The memories remain, but they no longer feel as though they're happening now.

As this happens, many people notice that the way they feel about the past begins to change. Perhaps even more importantly, the way they feel about themselves changes. Rather than constantly fighting against who they are, they begin relating to themselves with greater understanding, acceptance and confidence.

The goal isn't to change your ADHD. It's to change the relationship you have with yourself because of everything you've lived through. EMDR can't rewrite your history, but it can change how your history lives inside you. As painful experiences lose their emotional charge, many people find they are able to land more fully in the present, creating space to forge a different path into the future.

If You've Recently Discovered You're ADHD

Discovering you're ADHD can bring a mixture of emotions. For some people there is relief. For others there is grief. For many, it's both.

You may begin looking back over your life and seeing experiences through a completely different lens. Things that never quite made sense suddenly do. You may wonder what life might have been like if you'd understood yourself sooner, or find yourself reinterpreting childhood, school, relationships and work through this new understanding.

A diagnosis can explain many things, but it doesn't automatically heal the emotional impact of years spent feeling different, misunderstood or as though you weren't enough. Understanding your brain is one part of the journey. Processing what you've lived through is another.

Whether you've been diagnosed recently, years ago, or you're still exploring whether ADHD might explain your experiences, EMDR can provide an opportunity to process experiences that continue to shape how you feel about yourself today. The goal isn't to change who you are. It's to help you let go of what no longer needs to define you.

A diagnosis can help you understand your brain. It doesn't have to define how you see yourself. As the emotional weight of past experiences begins to lift, many people find they develop a healthier, more compassionate relationship with themselves—not because they've become someone different, but because they're beginning to reconnect with who they've always been.

What To Expect From Our First Consultation

Meet with me for 15 minutes, ask the questions that matter to you, and get a sense of what it might be like working together. You’ll quickly know whether I feel like the right therapist for you, and I’ll let you know honestly whether I think I can help.

Free 15 Minute Consultation for EMDR Online Therapy

Pete Tobias, EMDR Europe Accredited Practitioner and BACP counsellor

Online EMDR therapy session delivered via secure video across the UK

If you are specifically looking for EMDR therapy online, you can read more about the approach and what to expect here.

EMDR Therapy Online

EMDR therapy online is a structured, evidence-based approach for processing trauma, distressing memories, anxiety, and emotional overwhelm. Sessions are delivered securely online and follow a phased model including preparation, resourcing, and reprocessing.

Book your free 15-Min Consultation

Find Out More About EMDR Online

Who Am I?

My name is Pete Tobias. I am a neurodivergent BACP Accredited counsellor and EMDR Europe Accredited Practitioner. I offer individual counselling and EMDR therapy to adults aged 18+.

I discovered I was neurodivergent as an adult during my own therapy training. That experience changed how I understand trauma, attention, emotional regulation and the nervous system. Today I combine EMDR with a neurodiversity-affirming approach, adapting sessions around how ADHD brains actually process information rather than expecting clients to fit a traditional therapy model.

Testimonials

Frequently Asked Questions

Does EMDR work for ADHD adults?

EMDR isn't a treatment for ADHD itself.

What it can help with is the emotional impact of experiences that many ADHD adults carry into later life. Bullying, criticism, rejection, difficult relationships, painful family experiences or years of feeling different can continue affecting how you feel about yourself long after they've happened.

EMDR helps those experiences lose their emotional charge.

The goal isn't to change your ADHD. The goal is to change the relationship you have with yourself because of everything you've lived through.

Will EMDR make my ADHD go away?

No. ADHD is a neurodevelopmental difference, not something EMDR is designed to remove.

My aim isn't to change who you are. My aim is to help you process experiences that have shaped how you feel about yourself.

Many ADHD adults find they continue to have an ADHD brain while experiencing far less shame, self-criticism and emotional distress because of what they've lived through.

Can EMDR help if I was only diagnosed recently?

Yes. Many people seek EMDR after receiving an ADHD diagnosis because they begin looking back at their life through a completely different lens.

A diagnosis often brings understanding and relief, but it doesn't automatically heal the emotional impact of years spent feeling different or misunderstood.

EMDR can help process those experiences so they no longer carry the same emotional weight today.

Do I need an ADHD diagnosis before starting EMDR?

No. Some people already have a diagnosis. Others are waiting for an assessment or simply recognise themselves in ADHD descriptions.

Therapy isn't about proving whether you have ADHD. It's about understanding your experiences and helping you process whatever continues to affect your life today.

Can EMDR help with ADHD burnout?

Burnout itself usually has many contributing factors.

For many ADHD adults, burnout is linked to years of masking, constantly trying harder, managing overwhelm or repeatedly feeling that they have to work harder than everyone else.

EMDR can help process experiences that continue contributing to those feelings, helping reduce the emotional burden you carry into everyday life.

Can EMDR help with rejection sensitivity?

Many ADHD adults describe becoming especially sensitive to criticism, rejection or feeling that they've let people down. Sometimes this is referred to as rejection sensitivity or rejection sensitive dysphoria.

EMDR isn't a treatment for ADHD or rejection sensitivity itself, but it can help process painful experiences that contribute to those feelings.

As those memories lose their emotional charge, many people notice they no longer react with the same intensity to situations that previously felt overwhelming.

Can I have EMDR if I struggle to concentrate?

Yes. Many ADHD adults worry they won't be able to "do EMDR properly."

There isn't one correct way to process.

I adapt sessions around the individual. This may include adjusting the pace or length of bilateral stimulation, using bilateral sounds or tactile methods, allowing movement during processing, adapting camera use, or finding practical ways to work with your attention rather than against it.

Is online EMDR effective?

Research suggests that online EMDR can be as effective as in-person EMDR for many people when delivered by a suitably trained EMDR practitioner.

Many ADHD adults also appreciate being in the familiarity of their own environment, avoiding the stress of travel and having greater flexibility around appointments.

Is EMDR suitable if I experienced bullying or difficult childhood experiences?

Often, yes.

Many ADHD adults carry painful memories of bullying, repeated criticism, feeling excluded, difficult family relationships or growing up believing there was something wrong with them.

Those experiences can continue influencing confidence, relationships and emotional wellbeing many years later.

EMDR can help those memories lose their emotional charge so they no longer shape how you experience yourself in the present.

How will I know if EMDR is helping?

Many people notice that the way they feel about the past begins to change.

Memories that once felt emotionally overwhelming often lose their intensity. Situations that previously triggered strong emotional reactions may feel more manageable.

Perhaps most importantly, many people begin relating to themselves differently. Rather than constantly viewing themselves through years of criticism or misunderstanding, they begin reconnecting with a healthier, more authentic sense of who they are.

What happens during the first consultation?

The first consultation is an opportunity for us to meet online and decide whether we feel like a good fit.

You can tell me a little about what's been happening, ask any questions you have about EMDR or how I work, and get a sense of what it might be like working together.

By the end of those 15 minutes, you'll usually have a good sense of whether I feel like the right therapist for you, and I'll let you know honestly whether I believe I can help.

Online EMDR therapy available to clients across the UK and internationally

My location

I specialise in online EMDR therapy — a NICE-recommended, evidence-based treatment for trauma, PTSD and anxiety. As an EMDR Europe Accredited Practitioner, I offer a safe and supportive space for clients to process trauma and find growth and healing, all via secure video from the comfort of their own home.

Please get in touch to arrange a free 15-minute consultation — an opportunity to ask any questions and get a sense of what it might be like to work together.

Fees & availability

Counselling and EMDR sessions for individuals are 50 minutes long and usually take place on a weekly basis. The cost per session is £100. Please get in touch to enquire about availability and further information about pricing.

If you want to cancel an appointment, I require 48 hours’ notice, otherwise you will need to pay for sessions missed.

If you are experiencing difficulties and are looking for EMDR therapy online or counselling, please complete the booking form to arrange a no-pressure, free 15-minute consultation, or proceed to book an initial full assessment session for online EMDR therapy and counselling.

Blackboard with white text saying difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations

Get in touch

If you have any questions about EMDR therapy or Online Counselling, you’re very welcome to get in touch. I offer a free 15-minute consultation—an opportunity for us to talk about what’s bringing you to therapy, whether EMDR could be a helpful approach, and whether we might be a good fit to work together.

You can:

Fill out the contact form

Or call or message me on +44 (0)7815 156 495 if you'd prefer to speak directly or leave a voicemail.

I’m happy to answer any questions you may have before booking your first appointment.

I aim to respond to all enquiries within 24 hours. All contact is treated with the utmost confidentiality and handled using secure phone and email services. You can learn more about how your information is protected by reading my Privacy Policy.