Online EMDR Therapist & Counsellor — UK & International
Pete Tobias Counselling
What is EMDR Therapy?
Find out more about this powerful trauma therapy
If you've heard about EMDR but aren't quite sure what it involves or whether it might help you, this guide is here to answer your questions clearly and honestly.
EMDR is one of the most searched therapy terms in the UK — and one of the most misunderstood. People often assume it involves hypnosis, or that it's only for people who've experienced extreme trauma. Neither is true.
What does EMDR stand for?
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing. It was developed in the late 1980s by American psychologist Francine Shapiro, who noticed that certain eye movements appeared to reduce the intensity of distressing thoughts
Since then, decades of research have established EMDR as one of the most effective therapies available for trauma and a range of other difficulties. It is now recommended by:
- The World Health Organization (WHO)
- The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE)
- The NHS
- The International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies
Most therapy works primarily through conversation — exploring thoughts, feelings, memories, and patterns through dialogue. This can be enormously helpful. But for many people, particularly those dealing with trauma, talking about what happened isn't enough. The memory continues to feel raw, present, and overwhelming regardless of how much insight they develop.
EMDR works differently. Rather than requiring you to describe or analyse traumatic experiences in detail, it works directly with how those memories are stored in your brain and body.
When something overwhelming happens, the brain can fail to process the experience properly — the memory becomes stored in a fragmented, unintegrated way, complete with the original emotions, physical sensations, and beliefs attached to it. These stuck memories continue to intrude into the present, triggering reactions that can feel disproportionate or confusing.
EMDR helps the brain complete the processing it couldn't do at the time. Once a memory is fully processed, it loses its charge. It doesn't disappear — you can still recall what happened — but it no longer feels raw or overwhelming. It becomes, as one of my clients once put it, "It's in the past, it doesn't impact me now."
Bilateral stimulation is the core mechanism of EMDR. It involves alternating left-right stimulation that activates both sides of the brain simultaneously, supporting the natural processing of stuck memories.
In a traditional in-person EMDR session, this is most commonly delivered through eye movements — a therapist moving their fingers or a light bar from side to side while you track them visually. Online, bilateral stimulation is delivered through:
- Visual tracking — a moving dot on your screen that you follow with your eyes
- Self-tapping — alternately tapping your knees, shoulders, or hands, guided by your therapist
- Audio tones — alternating sounds delivered through headphones
All three methods are equally effective. Many people are surprised by how quickly they settle into the process once a session begins.
EMDR is best known as a treatment for PTSD — and it is highly effective for this. But its applications extend far beyond a single diagnosis. EMDR can help with:
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
- Complex PTSD and childhood trauma
- Anxiety and panic attacks
- Depression rooted in past experiences
- Phobias and fears
- Grief and loss
- Low self-worth and chronic shame
- Intrusive thoughts and flashbacks
- The lasting effects of difficult relationships
- Neurodivergence and identity-related distress
You don't need a formal diagnosis to benefit from EMDR. Many people seek it out not because they identify as having PTSD, but because they feel stuck — held back by patterns, beliefs, or emotional reactions that seem to have roots in earlier experiences.
This is one of the most important questions to address, because many people assume EMDR isn't for them because they don't feel their experiences were "traumatic enough."
In EMDR, trauma is understood broadly. There is "big T" trauma — single significant events such as accidents, assaults, or disasters — and "small t" trauma — the accumulation of difficult, painful, or overwhelming experiences that have left a lasting mark. Neglect, criticism, emotional unavailability, bullying, relationship difficulties, and chronic stress can all leave traces that EMDR can help address.
If your past is affecting your present life — your mood, your relationships, your sense of self — your experiences are worth addressing, regardless of how they compare to what others have been through.
EMDR follows a structured eight-phase protocol that ensures the work is always paced appropriately and safely:
Phase 1 — History taking
Your therapist gets to know your background, what's bringing you to therapy, and what you'd like to work on.
Phase 2 — Preparation
Before any processing begins, time is spent building safety, trust, and internal resources. This phase is as important as the processing itself — particularly for those with complex trauma histories.
Phase 3 — Assessment
A specific target memory is identified, along with the negative beliefs and physical sensations associated with it.
Phase 4 — Desensitisation
The core processing phase, where bilateral stimulation is used to help the brain reprocess the target memory. The therapist guides you through sets of bilateral stimulation, pausing between each set to check in on what's arising.
Phase 5 — Installation
A positive belief is strengthened to replace the negative one that has been associated with the memory.
Phase 6 — Body scan
You're invited to notice any remaining physical tension or distress in your body related to the memory.
Phase 7 — Closure
Every session ends with closure — ensuring you feel settled, grounded, and contained before you leave.
Phase 8 — Re-evaluation
At the start of each new session, previous work is reviewed and the next target is identified.
People often ask this, and the honest answer is that it varies. During bilateral stimulation, many people notice thoughts, images, emotions, or physical sensations arising spontaneously — the therapist's role is to guide the process and ensure it always feels manageable.
Some people find the experience calming almost immediately. Others find early sessions more activating as the processing begins. What consistently surprises people is how much can shift without needing to put every detail of their experience into words.
Between sessions, most people notice the processing continues in some form — dreams may change, certain memories may feel different, new thoughts or connections may arise. This is a normal and healthy part of the EMDR process.
This varies considerably depending on what you're bringing to therapy. Research suggests that single-incident trauma can often be substantially resolved within 6–12 sessions. Complex or long-standing trauma — particularly where there are multiple difficult experiences across a lifetime — typically requires longer-term work.
This is always discussed openly at the outset and reviewed regularly throughout the work. EMDR is not open-ended by nature — it is a structured, goal-oriented therapy with a clear direction of travel.
Yes — and research consistently shows that online EMDR is just as effective as face-to-face therapy. The same eight-phase protocol is used, and bilateral stimulation is delivered just as effectively via screen. Many clients find that working from the comfort and privacy of their own home makes it easier to engage with the process.
All you need is a laptop or tablet, a stable internet connection, and a private space.
Find out more about Online EMDR here.
The best starting point is a free 15-minute consultation — a relaxed, no-pressure conversation to discuss what's bringing you to therapy, ask any questions you have about EMDR, and get a sense of whether we'd work well together. There's no commitment required.
Get in touch
If you have any questions about EMDR therapy or Online Counselling, you’re very welcome to get in touch. I offer a free 15-minute consultation—an opportunity for us to talk about what’s bringing you to therapy, whether EMDR could be a helpful approach, and whether we might be a good fit to work together.
You can:
- Fill out the contact form
- Or call or message me on +44 (0)7815 156 495 if you'd prefer to speak directly or leave a voicemail.
I’m happy to answer any questions you may have before booking your first appointment.
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